To people who can’t get over their ex

People will often say stuff like “get a new hobby” or “stop checking their social media” to get over your ex. I know when you are going through a painful breakup, it’s nearly impossible to make a sudden change like that.

Everyone told me to just move on. So I tried. I did what people told me to do. I tried to get a new hobby and spent more time producing music. I applied to graduate program and got in. I forced myself to hangout with people and made new friends. I even went on a date. However, that emptiness and sadness were never gone even though i was living a “better” life. I realized that these “tricks” don’t always work to get over your ex.

My advice is to do whatever you want. Check their social media, contact them (don’t, if it was a toxic or an abusive relationship) and do whatever you want (except for doing illegal stuff, hurting them or yourself). Yea, it will take longer to heal but some people just need that long process.

I checked his social media multiple times a day for so long. I tried to get him back for months. I sent gifts and everything on holidays. I did everything i could.

As the time pass by, you will hit this phase: “what the heck am i doing rn” or “why am i wasting my time on this person who doesn’t even like me back”. That’s when you will able to move on slowly. That’s when your brain start to think rationally. Then you can start to focus more on your self growth and your life goals. Start with spending 70% of your time on breakup, stalking, and being sad..etc then 30% to focus on yourself, or what you like or reconstruct your goal. Then 50:50 and so on. Yea of course you will think about the memories. However, those memories wouldn’t be as intense to control your mood or emotions once you hit this phase.

Don’t bottle up your feelings and pretend you are okay now when you aren’t. Cry, be sad, do everything you want. Don’t act like you are fine. Things don’t work out for you? Feeling better then go back to rock bottom? It’s okay. Keep going until you are ready to move on. Everyone is different. More you loved, longer it takes. You got this❤️